Baseball in America Tour - Clarification

"I wasn’t just chasing baseball; I was chasing freedom and living authentically, even if some people didn’t get it. That’s what mattered to me most."

2014 - Sami, Me, Dad

Ten years ago, I was getting interviewed quite a bit, and while I liked the attention, I wasn’t entirely comfortable with it. I was still figuring out how to talk on camera and control my nervous gestures. Watching myself on TV made me feel self-conscious about everything from my head shape to my gut. It was funny but also kind of revealing about my insecurities. The media mostly focused on the emotional side of my story, especially regarding my dad, but for me, it wasn’t just about baseball—it was about freedom, finding less stress, and doing something I was passionate about. Even though some people didn’t get it, I knew I was living a dream, following my authentic self, and that’s what mattered to me most.

Originally Posted on June 25, 2014

I have been interviewed quite a bit lately—Milwaukee, Austin, and two Omaha stations. I will admit that I do like the attention, and I think that’s normal. However, I don’t really enjoy doing the interviews. I am getting better at talking and being in front of the camera. I still need to control my gesturing, but hey, I’m not a pro. Since it’s me, and people tend to judge their “insides” by everyone else’s “outsides,” I really don’t know how I’m coming off to others. I know that I feel like I’m talking quite fast and I’m not relaxed, but it has gotten better in the last few interviews.

Also, am I the only one who thinks they sound funny and that their profile and head are shaped weird? Seriously, every time I see myself on TV, I think I have a weird-looking head, I need a haircut, and that my gut seems to be getting bigger. Or am I just being neurotic? (I’m laughing at myself right now about the odd insecurities I have.)

The news tends to focus on one aspect of the story regarding my dad—the emotional part, the part that grabs the viewer. I understand; I try to do that with my headlines every day so you will click and read my blog post. I think the part that gets lost in all of this is that it’s not just about baseball. I admit I love the game and have enjoyed going to all the games, but more importantly, it’s the freedom I feel, how much less stressful my life is at the moment, and how easy it is to do because I have a passion for it. Some people have said I have inspired them, but I get inspired by a lot of my friends when I read their Facebook posts and see the changes taking place in their lives—people who have decided to take control and do the things that make them healthier and happier. They didn’t have to quit their jobs, live out of their cars, or get interviewed to do it.

I have a fun story, and I understand why the news thinks it’s worthwhile to cover it. I also know that you don’t have to go to the extreme that I have to find peace and contentment. One news outlet touched on an aspect that I love about this whole thing, and that’s living on the fringe. I’m living off the grid and doing something out of the societal norm. That’s me and always has been me. I love the abnormal. It’s about being true to my authentic self when I just try to be who I am, instead of trying to fit into what I think society wants. I think more people want to do this and are really testing the boundaries, especially with all the extreme sports and competitions like Tough Mudder that we have now.

I liked the line Trey Daerr used in the interview I did with WISN: “He has given up everything, so he regrets nothing.” I like it because it hammers home to me how short life is. If I don’t start acting on the things I’ve always wanted to do, they will pass me by. I’m grateful that I’ve had all this support and attention, but more importantly, that I’ve been given the opportunity. I don’t know what I’ll end up doing for a living when this is all over. Should I find a way to continue, that would be great. If it’s just for this year, that works too. I would love to work in baseball doing something. I enjoy so many aspects of the profession. What makes me laugh is that the only time in my life I really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up was when I was a kid—I wanted to be a baseball player. Such a silly thing, when you’re an adult, to be. Society told me to grow up, and believe me, I’ve tried. I really tried. But I always had this discontentment within me. My brother Chad brings this up all the time. He reminds me that I’ve always been a little off, in a good way. That I always wanted to build and do my own thing. I think it’s human nature to want things and to build a life you want.

Sorry, I went on my little rant there. What precipitated all of it was an email I got from someone who saw an interview I did that aired last night in Omaha. It wasn’t very nice, and I was surprised the person took the time to write to me. I wasn’t even upset about it. What bothered me, though, was that he missed the point of why I’m doing what I’m doing. When I say that I’m living a dream that a lot of people would love to do, I mean that figuratively. Some of you might want to travel the world and see the best opera singers in their home countries, etc.

I was going to write about the grounds crew experience I had with the Omaha Storm Chasers, but I will get to that hopefully tomorrow. Another story I have is about the play-by-play announcer with the Clinton LumberKings. So many experiences that I’ve been exposed to, to learn about and see firsthand, that the average fan doesn’t. I hope I’m able to share enough about them that you find them interesting.