Why are you so angry?

"To find joy in the ordinary is to embrace life’s truest form of happiness." - Anonymous

"Why are you so angry?" My brother-in-law Jerry asked me this over 25 years ago. He said it nonchalantly after I was talking about politics or something that I thought was important at the time. It hit me hard. I didn’t think of myself as an angry person, but he stopped me cold with that one question.

Jerry's question has stuck with me ever since. He doesn't realize the impact he has had on my life. Anytime my emotions get the best of me, I remember his question. I view Jerry much differently than he views himself. He would laugh at this, but he has taught me many lessons over the years. When he asked me that question, we were driving out to Iron River to go grouse hunting. I wasn’t a hunter in the sense Jerry was; my family didn’t hunt. But Jerry always asked me to go when I was up north visiting. He taught me, let me shoot first, and explained the nuances without judgment.

Jerry is a man of quiet strength and unwavering patience. He embodies a calm demeanor that stands in stark contrast to my often intense nature. His love for the simple pleasures in life, like bird hunting, reflects his ability to find joy in the moment. Jerry is not one to seek the spotlight or crave recognition. He finds contentment in the ordinary, which is a lesson I have come to deeply appreciate.

Jerry has worked the same job for over 40 years, demonstrating a level of dedication and stability that is rare. He and my sister have raised two well-adjusted kids, who have grown into remarkable adults. This is a testament to Jerry's consistent and loving presence in their lives. His sense of humor is another defining trait—he finds humor in the mundane and often brings a smile to those around him with his sometimes crude and witty responses. Unlike many people today, Jerry is not on social media. He prefers genuine, one-on-one conversations where real connections can be made. You won’t find Jerry with his head down, looking at his phone; instead, he engages fully with the world around him. Sometimes, he says things out loud that perhaps should be kept to himself, but he always does so with a touch of humor that disarms and endears him to others.

Jerry loves to hunt and fish; these are his passions. His enthusiasm for these activities is infectious, and he is always eager to share his knowledge with others. Jerry is also a person who questions things and is open to changing his perspective when presented with new information. Although he may not view himself this way, the people in his life, upon reflection, see him as someone who pretty much does the right thing all the time.

I am a person who has always wanted to make my mark in the world, to be someone, to make a difference, to be known, to be a success—however you define it, it was important to me. I was never comfortable just being who I was; I always wanted something more. I am never satisfied. But with age comes perspective. It is not as important to me as it once was. I am not as impatient for success.

Jerry's influence has played a significant role in this shift in my perspective. His question speaks to me because it embodies the essence of who he is—calm, reflective, and content. Jerry is the opposite of who I am, and I strive to be more like him—less angry, more accepting, finding joy in the things I do, and being comfortable in my own skin. His ability to remain unruffled and his knack for seeing the good in every situation have taught me to slow down, to appreciate life as it comes, and to find peace within myself.

Jerry's life philosophy is simple yet profound. He values relationships over accomplishments, experiences over possessions, and presence over ambition. His contentment with who he is and what he has is a lesson in humility and grace. Whenever I find myself caught up in the rush to achieve or the frustration of unmet goals, I think of Jerry. His way of living reminds me that true success is not measured by accolades or status but by the ability to find happiness in the everyday moments and to be at peace with oneself. His influence continues to guide me, reminding me that sometimes, the greatest lessons come from the quietest voices and the simplest questions.